


Sumo Wrestler

by autumnangelwrites



Series: Summer Prompts Challenge 2015 [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, Pointless Ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4872544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnangelwrites/pseuds/autumnangelwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steph really doesn't know how her life got to this point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sumo Wrestler

Sometimes, Steph took a big step back and wondered how her life had come to this. Like right now. This exact moment. How?

“Make yourself useful, Fatgirl!” sneered a voice to her left. Robin was already passed her when she turned, leaping through the air to engage with the large, flesh colored… thing. 

“Really?” she called over to Batman, half unimpressed and half really impressed because wow. “We’re battling chemically charged sumo wrestlers now?” 

Dick paused to give a nonplussed shrug, which looked really weird and threatening in the Batman costume, before leaping after Robin. Steph turned to see Robin rebounding through the air, apparently bouncing off of their assailant. 

So the sumo villain was rubbery. Great.

Batman was off to the side, apparently working on some sort of tripwire, and Robin had disappeared into the depths of Crime Alley, so Steph sighed and stepped up to the plate. They so owed her for this. 

“Hey, fatty!” Steph fired her grappling hook and propelled herself forward at the perfect time, planting a firm foot into the spongey face of the villain, just as he turned. She twirled away as two meaty hands came to swat the air in front of him, narrowly missing what promised to be the bitch-slap of her life.

“You gonna need a new diaper if you wanna play with the big boys!” 

Batarangs, it turned out, were highly ineffective when faced by large, blubbery masses. Cursing, Steph tried to aim at the face—while dodging the gigantic hands swinging at her, which was not easy thank you very much—in an attempt to goad the giant blob forward. Dick was gesturing madly at her, completely ruining the ominous appeal of his costume, and Steph couldn’t quite tell if he was trying to say ‘Yes, good, keep coming!’ or, ‘Oh God no, we’re all going to die!’ Though the latter was more likely, Steph really didn’t know how to put the brakes on this thing, so it was coming through regardless. 

In the end, it wrapped up like this: Sumo-Blob caught the tripwire, the tripwire failed spectacularly under Sumo-Blob’s weight, Sumo-Blob reached down and angrily waved the failed tripwire in the air to somehow celebrate his triumph, and then Sumo-Blob K.O.’d himself with the bit of brick that the wire had managed to cling to. So goes another night in the vigilante lifestyle. 

Batman secures the Sumo-Blob for the police, acting as though the capture had all gone according to plan in an effort to live up to Batman’s mysterious allure. Robin joined her up on the rooftop, fuming. 

“Shut your mouth, Fatgirl,” he snarled. “You’re drooling.” 

Steph was aware enough to know that she most certainly was not, but at this point she couldn’t even be blamed because hot damn. Instead of taking the bait, she diplomatically turned and offered a truce. 

“You smell like garbage. Finally returned to the place from which you were spawned?”

Yeah. Diplomatic. 

Leaping away from the enraged child, Steph snorted out a laugh. God, what a life.


End file.
